A little help beating the property rush back to college this year.

 

Beer for the Curious (and broke)

 

What happens when you combine the 5 greatest minds of alcohol research?
Not much, however, add 35 of the cheapest and unconqoured alcohol beverages in batches of five, a website with nothing better to do and things start to take shape, a very strange odd smelling shape with damp patches and dizzy spells.

 

Ro, happiness is drunkeness

 

Dr Ro: 25, Virgo,

Likes: Walks in the park, plastering services and is looking for a soul mate, preferably human and living.

Dislikes: Walks, Parks, Bruce Willis's acting in the last Die Hard


 

Science, Isn't an art, it's a Science!

 

 

Prof Kev: 25, Taurus,

Likes: The cider, bland boring comments, brown paper bags. And all that jazz.

Dislikes: Interesting witty comments, Student Accommodation websites.


 Little guy, with the big taste for science!

 

 

 

 Dr Dez: 26, Leo,

Likes: Drunkness, The floor, Discovery Channel, helicopters, planes with jump jet systems, nerdness

Dislikes: Sobriety, Sports, his bed, people taller then him


 

Dr Tony, A drunk Duggie Howser! 

 

 Dr Gorey Phd:

Likes: The last can, the last can before going to bed, the last can before going to bed when we're up watching a film and then there's no cans left. Wrestling games. His alloys

Dislikes: Finishing the last can, Going to the Offie, Shaving. The word Tuborg


 

 

All in the name of science, and beer of course

 

Prof Fonz:

Likes: Phil, Fulham, sleeping with his eyes open, having chlidren. Beating panels.

Dislikes: Stuff, I don't know, make something up, something funny.


 

 

 

 

 And now the juice of justice, the seven drinks tested are:

 

And now to work!

 

Tauras: 1.29. Aldi

Ro: It's no, blah blah, and all crap cider tastes the same. 2/5

Kev: Strong taste, big kick. Feels weird in stomach. 2.5/5

Dez: Horrible, but hey what you gonna do? 3/5

Gorey: A bit sweet but easy to drink. 4/5

Fonz: Dry, very dry. 3/5

Average rating: 2.9/5


Lager: .88. Dunnes Stores

Ro: Tastes likes rust. 1/5

Kev: Wierd 1st taste, kindof bland. Overall not too bad. 3/5

Dez: Glorious 4/5 (Wink Wink!) 2/5

Gorey: Not good. 1/5

Fonz: Rotten. 0/5

Average rating: 1.4/5

And so it begins!

Grafenwalder: 1.99. Lidl

Ro: Rotten but it's 8.6%, you do the math.2/5

Kev: Tastes like banana, thick but headbanging. 2/5

Dez: Hmmm, warm cat pee, No, heavy hitting but best served cold. 3/5

Gorey: Alcoholic soup, but gets you drunk quick. 2/5

Fonz: Strong stuff. 2/5

Average rating: 2.2/5


Premium: 1.05. Aldi

Ro: Place in a saucepan, add milk, bring to the boil, serves 4. 4.5/5

Kev: A bit forgettable, not bad though. 3/5

Dez: Tastes a bit bark, screw Flanders. 4/5

Gorey: Horrible. 1/5

Fonz: Good stuff. 4/5

Average rating: 3.3/5


Kulm Bacher: 1.15. Dunnes Stores

Ro: Does the job. 4/5

Kev: Not bad, good stuff. 4/5

Dez: F.1, Good, better then being sober. 4/5

Gorey: Not bad, very gassy. 2/5

Fonz: Even better stuff. 5/5

Average rating: 3.8/5

So very pretty!

Stienhauser: 1.17. Lidl

Ro: A bit of an aftertaste, but your students. 3/5

Kev: Bad 1st impression, overall not bad. 3/5

Dez: Nice. Wait, look, no legs. 3/5

Gorey: Not bad, a bit bland. 4.5/5

Fonz: Right yeah. 2/5

Average rating: 3.1/5


Bergedler: 99. Aldi

Ro: Like an ugly bird with a lovely body and nice jugs. 4/5

Kev: Nice. 4/5

Dez: Everything goes with Salad cream. 4/5

Gorey: Very good, a nice aftertaste. 4.5/5

Fonz: Better stuff. 4/5

Average rating: 4.1/5

 

 

Conclusion:

Overall the Bergedler got the highest mark, although this may have something to do with the fact that it and stienhauser were the only two to come in bottle form, the lager recieved the lowest mark but again, this is the cheapest beer we have found at .88 cent, and it tastes ok. The Taurus being the only cider meant that pallets were not used to such appley goodness. The Grafenwalder being the most expensive and arguably the heaviest tasting is a hefty 8.6%, and therefore has a certain charm all of it's own. The remaining beers recieved mixed reviews but are all certainly worth a taste test. Although grabaGAFF advises not to mix all in one night. On a last note, the price for all drinks averages to €7.89 per person, not too shabby at all, and remember if you are going to drink, drink sensibly, and cheaply, and with gusto, and if possible, from a welly.

 

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